can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
