I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
