I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Too much gin, very little bucket
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
