I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
