Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
now i know why i became what i already was.
home. puking in laundry basket.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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