woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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