guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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