dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
