Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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