Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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