they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
