no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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