the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
