i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
