I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
