So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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