Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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