I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
