One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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