she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
