let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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