Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
