I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
