I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Bring me that man meat
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
