I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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