Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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