I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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