we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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