lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
My vagina is officially offended.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
