I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
This baby is an asshole
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i out mim tonsoeep
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
