All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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