got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
