Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
