It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
