did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
