this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
