i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
