thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
