I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
