K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
