Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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