So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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