I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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