So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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