Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
