like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
