Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
