i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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