rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Found the puke drawer
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
