There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
