We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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