dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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