Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
