Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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