First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
