I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
